Friday, June 17, 2016

Off to Scifi Summer Camp

Tomorrow I leave for six weeks of Science Fiction Summer Camp a.ka. Clarion West. Not unlike a teenage camper, I'm having all sorts of conflicting feelings. I can't wait to get away, but what if I miss my family? I'm a pretty good writer, but what if I'm not good enough? What if everyone else is super cool and I just want to drink milk tea and go to bed by nine?

I got myself all worked up. Then my laptop power cord shorted out this morning. I've been huffing around the house because I can't recharge. Can't recharge. Can't RECHARGE.

I think the universe is trying to tell me something.

Saturday, June 11, 2016

15 Types of potatoes, listed in descending order of my fondness:

1. Roasted potatoes - Get 'em nice and crunchy and use a small, young potato with a smooth texture. Olive oil and salt... mmm.

2. Tater tots - The pinnacle of human evolution. The perfect ratio of fluffy interior and crunch exterior. Tots from Taco Time have a distinct oniony flavor, putting them near the top of the list. I just wish they weren't deep fried.

3. Hash browns - Better be crispy!

4. French fries - I like my fries on the soggy side. I know, that makes me an outlier.

5. O'Briens - You can never go wrong adding peppers and onions to anything. Not even cheesecake.

6. Twice-baked potatoes - Baked potatoes *pre-stuffed* with treats like cheese, bacon, and onions? Sign me up!

7. Poutine - Basically, gravy and cheese-curd doused fries. I'd take the melted cheese, but skip the gloopy gravy.

8. Gravy fries - In New Jersey, when you ask for "gravy fries," you're going to get fries covered in marinara sauce and mozzarella. Anywhere else in the world, you're going to get a disgusting mess. Save yourself and ask for "pizza fries."

9. Cottage fries - Not the ridged Ore-Ida kind, the home-sliced roasty kind. Like roasted potatoes, but slices. Like potato chips, but thicker.

10. Western potatoes - These are O'briens without the vegetables and who wants that shit?

11. Baked potatoes - If I'm going to eat a food that's simply a delivery method for a different, more flavorful, food, then I'm going to go with couscous or steamed cauliflower, which are both ready in a fraction of the time.

12. Mashed potatoes - With the amount of butter I administer to make these palatable, I usually swap in riced, steamed cauliflower so I can at least not eat triple-digit carbs with my triple-digit fats.

13. Potato chips - Ugh. They're all so *greasy.*

14. Pommes frites - Traditional pommes frites are stringy and crunchy. Like a hot version of those potato sticks in the can.

15. Steak fries - The polar opposite of pommes frites... too much meaty potato inside and not enough crispy outside.